How to Handle Criticism, Hate & Disrespect

 Hello everybody , people did you ever notice that we all are told since childhood that the habit of embracing criticism is the stepping stone to success. But, nobody ever tells us how exactly do you embrace criticism ? If you look at the greatest leaders of all time, the greatest change makers of all time. The one thing you will find common in all of them is their ability to take and act upon the criticism that they receive. Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, one of the greatest kings who ever lived in this country was primarily known to take criticism from everyone. 

For him it really did not matter whether it is coming from an ordinary villager or the prime minister of the state himself. A modern day example of the same is Elon Musk, you know what, Elon Musk was once asked at a conference as to what exactly is the most difficult thing in his life. Now, considering the fact that he is already doing crazy things like colonising the Mars and making reusable rockets. You would think that his most difficult thing would be related to either one of these crazy things that he is doing. But you know what he said, and I quote, And here's where the question arises, as to why is this habit so so important and more importantly, how can ordinary people like you and me learn to take criticism the right way. To give you a deeper understanding of the same, I want to take you back to 1846, Europe. For those of you do not know, this was one of the darkest times in the European history wherein there was a major disease that was on the rise. 


This disease was called the black death of child bed wherein as soon as the mothers gave birth to their children they used to die out of something called the Puerperal fever. And just like the Covid-19 death toll today there used to be a consistent increase in the deaths of mothers. And even after years of research and millions of dollars into spending no one could actually find out what exactly caused this problem. But amidst all of this chaos, there was this one guy by the name Dr Ignaz Semmelweis. He very openly started criticising the doctors and was screaming out the solution in every way possible. And he did everything in his capacity to get his word out and prove the solution to the world. But you know what, nobody listened to him and the entire society, especially the doctors they called him crazy for decades. And this poor man died in a mental asylum. But you know what, after years of 'Research & Development'.

As it turns out, Dr Ignaz had made an observation that the doctors were doing the deliveries in the afternoon after conducting the autopsies in the morning which is why the disease got passed on from the dead bodies into the mother's body which is why even healthy mothers were dying out of the puerperal fever. So all they had to do was wash their hands and instruments with Chlorine and one of the deadliest disease in the history could have been eradicaed very very easily. Today, Dr Ignaz is considered to be a legend and he is regarded as the 'saviour of mothers'. But all throughout those years while the doctors were too proud to admit their flaws, god knows how many mothers went inside the ward hoping that they would be able to see their babies only to come of in body bags. 

God knows how many children in that generation grew up without a mother just because of the futile ego of the doctors who consider themselves next to god. This is the reason why feedback and criticism is very very important. This story also tells us that criticism is a double edged sword. If taken the right way, it will lead you to greatness and at the same time if not taken the right way, it will become the graveyard of your success. So now the question is, in this big bad world while we have got only a few genuine well wishers and on the other side we have got these dedicated haters who will go out of the way just to pull you down and then we have got these people who often sugarcoat their answers just to keep their image regardless of how pathetic your condition is.

 How do you exactly filter through this chaos and take the feedback that really matters ? The answer to this question comes from this book called the culture code wherein Daniel Coyle talks about the method which is used by one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time who goes by the name Gregg Popovich. And this method is very famously known as the magical feedback. And you can use this magical feedback technique by asking three questions to your critic Eventually, you will realize that you are getting constructive feedback. These 3 questions are: That's it. Once you begin to ask these questions, automatically you will begin to receive constructive feedback from your critics because these questions help the viewer navigate through both the good and the bad and urges him/her to think about the new possibilites of improvement which is what brings constructive feedback. 

Once you get all these answers, it's time to jot them down And work upon treating what works best for you and work upon what is not Then comes the most important question of all How do you exactly process this feedback and how do you decide whom to listen to and who not to. Well always remember, people, that there are 4 broad categories of people who will criticise you. The first category of the people are the haters. These are the people who will criticise you just to pull you down and if you start taking them seriously it will mess up with your focus and stifle your growth. So, block them both from your life and social media and it will work wonders for you. The second category of people are innocent critics. These are people who love you a lot but might sometimes give you baseless advice. 


For example, your parents love you a lot that is why they might push you to take a so called safe career. But you need to remember one thing; that their intent is never bad but their advice very well could be. So, never ever take their advice without giving it a clear thought If it makes sense to you, work upon it, if not, learn to ignore it. But the one thing that you need to remember is that you should never ever disrespect them because today they might be giving you baseless advice but tomorrow they could be giving you a sensible advice because ultimately their intent is not evil. But then, if you begin to disrespect them they might eventually stop giving you feedback which is very very bad.

 With that we move on to the third category and these are sweet talkers. These are people who will praise you so much that you will knowingly or unknowingly incline towards them just to get validation. And this is where you need to remind yourself that "Ego is the anaesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity" I repeat So definitely listen to the sweet talkers but don't ever take them seriously. And last and most importantly we have got constructive critics These are people who love you a lot and will give you feedback that might sound very harsh at the beginning but is very very important. This could be a professor who really cares for you this could be your best friend or even your partner.

 And you know what, never ever leave these people and always jot down what they say. And sometimes they might give you baseless advice because nobody is perfect but do make sure to jot down their criticism and work obssessively on it. And once you start doing this, you will begin to witness exponential growth in whatever aspect you're taking criticism for. This could be your personal life, professional life and this could even be your own business. 

And if you do this I am 100% sure that nobody in this goddamn world can stop you from achieving greatness regardless of what you're doing right now. And every time it gets difficult to gulp down a harsh feedback just tell yourself one thing Criticism is that stone that people will throw at you all the time but it is you who needs to decide to whether to build the castle of your greatness or the graveyard of your success. Now, let that sink in, and think about it for a while.

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